I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize