If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
