i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
