were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
