are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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