My Higher Power is John Stamos
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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