Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
