and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
