Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
