ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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