i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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