I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Holy sore nipples Batman
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
