Only a mothe r could love this liver
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
