Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
