I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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