im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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