So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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