he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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