...so i touched it.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize
