I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize