Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
