my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
