what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
