Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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