Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
