i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
