Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
