Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
