I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Is Oprah even human
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
