you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
