and you said cock pushups were impossible
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
