We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I came so hard my ears popped.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
