Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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