good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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