nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
