would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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