i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
