Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
