VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize