he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
