singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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