I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
