He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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