when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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