these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He shit in the fireplace
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
