pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
