Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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