my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
The best revenge is premature balding
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
