belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
