your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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