If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
