Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
