dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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