My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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