I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
So many bounce houses so little time
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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