did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
