I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
