oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Randomize
