Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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