Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
