is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
soo... how was my night?
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