Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Someone came in the potted fern
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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