***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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