you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize