The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
