new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
