You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
