After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
