Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
