woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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