talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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