talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
