If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
It's official drugs can't kill me
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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