Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
