If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize