All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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