Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
