the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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