This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
