I want to walk on stilts...naked
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
